Tis this season, and as the 300 Hallmark holiday films (seriously – they’ve made 300 of them!) inevitably feature – it’s snowflakes and sugar cookies and lights all aglow. And it’s oh so romantic, lest we forget.
What happens when daydreams turn from peppermint mocha everything to cuffing and cozying and curling up with your favorite long-term hottie? The possibilities are endless. You might even want to engage in some sexy gift-giving. So let’s get into the spirit and play a little game we consider a public service to anyone in a long-term partnership. It’s called, “Don’t Get Her That”.
Ready? Here we go:
For starters: don’t get her that sexy lingerie, and don’t get her a sex toy.
Now why in the world would we say this when we’re always preaching the otherwise? The answer is simple (and one we’ve heard from countless women). These gifts indicate that the giver is thinking only of themselves, and not taking their partner into consideration. Are we suggesting that assless chaps and that insanely hot cunnilingus-simulating vibrator isn’t worth bringing home? Absolutely not. We just recommend these items be either left up to the recipient to purchase, or that they are the kinds of things that should be discussed in advance. Many women feel pressured to wear or use something that makes them feel uncomfortable or worse, downright icky. So – say it with me – don’t get her that.
Also – don’t get her anything that isn’t thoughtful. In other words, if it serves you but doesn’t serve her – that’s a no-brainer. What’s that, you say? You lack the know-how to give good gift? Then let’s start here, because honestly, this is what everyone truly wants:
- Acknowledgment
- Respect
- Interest in what interests her
It sounds so damned cheesy but as relationship experts, we can tell you that these are the cornerstones of engagement and connection, which are always the gateway to better sex.
And while we’re not denying that things of the material or experiential nature are awesome, without the above, trust us – sex is gonna tank or disappear all-together.
In fact, if you can serve the above bullet list items AND present with something that you’ve put thought into? All the better. Start with your relationship, however, and you’ll likely turn up the heat and the magic of the holidays. And even you can have your very own Hallmark movie that may just need a NSFW rating…
